Nope, it had nothing to do with me!!!!

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Nope, it had nothing to do with me!!!!

Post by An Observer on Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:22 pm

Essential reading for those who wish to get past their ego-dynamics!

I found this to be a useful piece for all those who are interested in developing a greater level of self awareness. Self awareness being something that we all have in some measure, but it needs ongoing work to develop it. I often liken 'the energy of awareness' to being like a large tree, in that we may be responsible for planting it, but may not live long enough to see it fully mature... In the same way awareness of our self, our habits, our self deceptions and our blind spots require lots of work to slowly uncover them, and then an equal amount of hard work, to drag them all into the light of our own consciousness and hold them there. Very often people confuse consciousness with awareness....
It is true to say that we are all conscious, but we may not all be self aware to any great extent. Whatever awareness we have, is usually centered around getting our immediate needs met. This includes our need to survive, and our need to feel safe and beyond danger. Also our need to feel that our 'frightened' or 'insecure self' is safe from being exposed to the harsh world, and so hurt again in some humiliating way. These handed down ego-dynamics can be a lifetime old, and can cause us to easily act out. Generally our 'core issues will be very well defended, and will involve a lot of denial if we happen to be confronted by them in any obvious way.
Acting out is what we do before we become self aware. Real wisdom can only happen within the presence of self awareness, in fact some might say that to grow in self awareness is to grow in spirit.

Anyway, here we go....

Denial is a defence mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.
We use:
1) Simple denial: deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether.
2) Minimisation: admit the fact but deny its seriousness (a combination of denial and rationalization)
3) Projection: admit both the fact and seriousness but deny responsibility.

Denial of fact
In this form of denial, someone avoids a fact by lying. This lying can take the form of an outright falsehood, leaving out certain details to tailor a story, or by falsely agreeing to something, referred to as "yessing" behaviour. Someone who is in denial of fact is typically using lies to avoid facts they think may be painful to themselves or others.

Denial of responsibility
This form of denial involves avoiding personal responsibility by:
1) Blaming: a direct statement shifting culpability and may overlap with denial of fact
2) Minimizing: an attempt to make the effects or results of an action appear to be less harmful than they may actually be, orů
3) Justifying: when someone takes a choice and attempts to make that choice look okay due to their perception of what is "right" in a situation.

Someone using denial of responsibility is usually attempting to avoid potential harm or pain by shifting attention away from themselves.

For example:
John breaks up with his girlfriend because he is unable to control his anger, and then blames her for everything that ever happened.

Denial of impact
Denial of impact involves a person's avoiding thinking about or understanding the harms of his or her behaviour has caused to self or others, i.e. denial of the consequences. Doing this enables that person to avoid feeling a sense of guilt and it can prevent him or her from developing remorse or empathy for others. Denial of impact reduces or eliminates a sense of pain or harm from poor decisions.

Denial of awareness
This type of denial is best discussed by looking at the concept of state dependent learning. People using this type of denial will avoid pain and harm by stating they were in a different state of awareness (such as alcohol or drug intoxication or on occasion mental health related). This type of denial often overlaps with denial of responsibility.

Denial of cycle
Many who use this type of denial will say things such as, "it just happened". Denial of cycle is where a person avoids looking at their decisions leading up to an event or does not consider their pattern of decision making and how harmful behaviour is repeated. The pain and harm being avoided by this type of denial is more of the effort needed to change the focus from a singular event to looking at preceding events. It can also serve as a way to blame or justify behaviour.

Denial of denial
This can be a difficult concept for many people to identify with in themselves, but is a major barrier to changing hurtful behaviours. Denial of denial involves thoughts, actions and behaviours which bolster confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one's personal behaviour. This form of denial typically overlaps with all of the other forms of denial, but involves more self-delusion. Denial at this level can have significant consequences both personally and at a society or group level.
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An Observer


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Re: Nope, it had nothing to do with me!!!!

Post by bravo321uk on Wed Mar 20, 2013 5:27 pm

You know observer, For an observer you dont half go on.
Your constant talking down on every1 here isnt very nice,, you may well deny this, but the way your posts are leading on from one another are all in the same tone.. and same message.
You continue to talk of people being narrow minded and egotistical and yet do not see that is exactly how you are representing yourself.
So let me share some knowledge with you,, I am relatively a new member here in my post count ect. But you know what this site helps me so much.. there is a balanced view here. Some folk offer support, some offer constructive critique, And in turn it gives a good balance.. A good blending of experience and view points, and im sure if you choose to get involved as a member of the community here you would love it..
As a source of serious information about Spiritualism, I believe it is unrivaled online, and that isnt some sort of blind loyalty that is based on experience and research. So why not try and get involved in a constructive way? im sure you have plenty to share, But then once you have had your say and believe your message is heard you will soon be off... I do hope I am wrong. But if I am right may I recommend a well known book for you to read by Dale Carnegie. Anyway take care

bravo321uk


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Re: Nope, it had nothing to do with me!!!!

Post by obiwan on Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:01 pm

An Observer wrote:Essential reading for those who wish to get past their ego-dynamics!

I found this to be a useful piece for all those who are interested in developing a greater level of self awareness. Self awareness being something that we all have in some measure, but it needs ongoing work to develop it. I often liken 'the energy of awareness' to being like a large tree, in that we may be responsible for planting it, but may not live long enough to see it fully mature... In the same way awareness of our self, our habits, our self deceptions and our blind spots require lots of work to slowly uncover them, and then an equal amount of hard work, to drag them all into the light of our own consciousness and hold them there. Very often people confuse consciousness with awareness....
It is true to say that we are all conscious, but we may not all be self aware to any great extent. Whatever awareness we have, is usually centered around getting our immediate needs met. This includes our need to survive, and our need to feel safe and beyond danger. Also our need to feel that our 'frightened' or 'insecure self' is safe from being exposed to the harsh world, and so hurt again in some humiliating way. These handed down ego-dynamics can be a lifetime old, and can cause us to easily act out. Generally our 'core issues will be very well defended, and will involve a lot of denial if we happen to be confronted by them in any obvious way.
Acting out is what we do before we become self aware. Real wisdom can only happen within the presence of self awareness, in fact some might say that to grow in self awareness is to grow in spirit.

Anyway, here we go....

Denial is a defence mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.
We use:
1) Simple denial: deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether.
2) Minimisation: admit the fact but deny its seriousness (a combination of denial and rationalization)
3) Projection: admit both the fact and seriousness but deny responsibility.

Denial of fact
In this form of denial, someone avoids a fact by lying. This lying can take the form of an outright falsehood, leaving out certain details to tailor a story, or by falsely agreeing to something, referred to as "yessing" behaviour. Someone who is in denial of fact is typically using lies to avoid facts they think may be painful to themselves or others.

Denial of responsibility
This form of denial involves avoiding personal responsibility by:
1) Blaming: a direct statement shifting culpability and may overlap with denial of fact
2) Minimizing: an attempt to make the effects or results of an action appear to be less harmful than they may actually be, orů
3) Justifying: when someone takes a choice and attempts to make that choice look okay due to their perception of what is "right" in a situation.

Someone using denial of responsibility is usually attempting to avoid potential harm or pain by shifting attention away from themselves.

For example:
John breaks up with his girlfriend because he is unable to control his anger, and then blames her for everything that ever happened.

Denial of impact
Denial of impact involves a person's avoiding thinking about or understanding the harms of his or her behaviour has caused to self or others, i.e. denial of the consequences. Doing this enables that person to avoid feeling a sense of guilt and it can prevent him or her from developing remorse or empathy for others. Denial of impact reduces or eliminates a sense of pain or harm from poor decisions.

Denial of awareness
This type of denial is best discussed by looking at the concept of state dependent learning. People using this type of denial will avoid pain and harm by stating they were in a different state of awareness (such as alcohol or drug intoxication or on occasion mental health related). This type of denial often overlaps with denial of responsibility.

Denial of cycle
Many who use this type of denial will say things such as, "it just happened". Denial of cycle is where a person avoids looking at their decisions leading up to an event or does not consider their pattern of decision making and how harmful behaviour is repeated. The pain and harm being avoided by this type of denial is more of the effort needed to change the focus from a singular event to looking at preceding events. It can also serve as a way to blame or justify behaviour.

Denial of denial
This can be a difficult concept for many people to identify with in themselves, but is a major barrier to changing hurtful behaviours. Denial of denial involves thoughts, actions and behaviours which bolster confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one's personal behaviour. This form of denial typically overlaps with all of the other forms of denial, but involves more self-delusion. Denial at this level can have significant consequences both personally and at a society or group level.
Sleep

obiwan


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Re: Nope, it had nothing to do with me!!!!

Post by An Observer on Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:38 pm

Glad to help lads... As the admin so rightly said, spirituality and spiritualism don't always sit together very well....
Another great book that I can recommend by Scott Peck - 'A Road Less Travelled' Smile
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Re: Nope, it had nothing to do with me!!!!

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